How Truth Unfolds
by ThyDeviousViolet
Summary: The unspoken affection between Mulder and Scully was what made the magic. Here's how it may have played out when it became obvious. The "I love you". To stay true to the show, may not be as sappy as it seems. MSR!
1. Chapter 1

The magic surrounding Mulder and Scully wasn't just the love they had for one another, but how it remained unspoken for such a vast amount of time. It was evident, but never conquered. This is going to be a long story, probably going to take quite a while to finish. I need to tackle as much as possible in a believable setting. So here it is. How the "I love you" between them was made obvious. Scully's POV. Let's go!

* * *

I sat on a rigid park bench, eating the salad in my lap. I ran out of the office as fast as my legs would carry me. The day was too beautiful to eat lunch inside as I normally would. I was thankful I still had 20 minutes before I had to rush back. Thank God it was Friday.

A warm breeze rippled through my hair, swaying the trees beyond me. The smell of summer was prominent in a bold and comforting manner. Grass beneath my shoes, sun glowing above me.

Despite all of this, I did not take notice.

I was searching the park for something I was not sure of.

Perhaps it was the abundant amount of couples walking arm in arm, displaying their happiness with the world in which they no longer feared. That hurt, in an odd way. I never saw myself as the type of woman to crave the attention of a male. I only wished to share my life with someone.

Or maybe it was the fact that there were children. Running in the fields, playing on the swingset. Their parents watched in awe. How wonderful would that be? To create life, and to build it up from nothing. This was something I could no longer do.

Loneliness beared down on me. I was not sure why. It could be that I no longer attempted to enter the dating world. The complications that arise from that are far more than the benefits that may come. It was not something that could be enjoyable.

But the real reason was hovering over my head. Because I knew what I wanted.

I knew what I _needed_.

And he was something that was far out of my reach.

When I think of all the years Mulder and I have spent together, I see two people who have made a life. A life dedicated to everything other than ourselves. Where could we have changed things? It was too late to persue a romantic relationship now. There would be far too much to sacrifice. I gave up hope years ago. The longer we worked together, the more professional we had to become. Professionalism was not something I intended to shake.

Yet even I know that is a front created in my mind in order to control my real emotions. I suppose what bothers me more than anything, is Mulder's complete dedication for everything he does. The willingness he has to ignore all odds and to pursue what he wants despite what is right and what the world thinks of him.

If I was what he wanted, he would have had me long ago. Therefore I cannot act on it.

His flirty nature was not something I overlooked from day one. There were times when he would invade my personal space, place a hand on my back, hold my hand, kiss me gently even. I try not to dwell on these moments, try to ignore them when he makes moves. I flash my look of disapproval, and he ceases his action.

But sometimes I think harder. There are moments where we look at each other, and we _know_. The moments of silence shared when we read each others faces. We know what we have.

Love is obvious between us. But it isn't enough, and we know this as well.

* * *

I looked down at my watch, to my dismay, and began walking back to the source of my issue and confusion. There were times when I wondered if this was right. Becoming an FBI agent and all. Medicine had been my passion at one point, and that was something honorable. It was something to be proud of.

Now the only passion I had for this profession was the man who worked me restless even when we weren't on the job. But the X-Files are _his_ passion. I try hard to understand that. He deserves something pleasurable in his life, even if it does come from bleakness. I suppose my loyalty stems from the fact that, in my mind, if I help him pursue the unknown, one day he may find what it is he's looking for. One day he could look up at me, peaceful for the first time in his life, and decide to rest. To settle down.

That was what normal people did at our ages. They got married, they had children, and they became aware that a family was what life should have been about the whole time. It just took maturity to realize that. I wondered if Mulder had even considered having a steady girlfriend. My God, some high schooler's could handle that. Where the hell was Mulder at in his life?

I then shuddered. I had none of these things either. It's a sad moment when you spot your own patheticness.

I stopped at the door of our office and waited. I tried to change my expression. To live a lie as I always do. I'm vaguely sure it looked like a painful smile, but Mulder wouldn't notice. He was concentrating on paperwork. I opened the door. He was gazing at me before I had even come through the opening.

"Hey Scully," he cooed, glossy eyed and a smile painting his entire face. There was never a man so dreamy. The paperwork was in his lap, without being opened. I wondered what he had been doing this whole time.

"Mulder," I nodded to greet him. I felt his eyes following me across the room. I looked over again to realize that he had never touched his lunch. He was opening up the burrito that he had bought at the same time I had purchased my salad. Had he really wasted a whole 30 minutes doing absolutely nothing?

I decided not to go any deeper. I walked back to the desk and stared at the paper in his lap. I would just do them myself, as usual. He looked up at me slowly and in mock suprise. He thrusted his hips up and moved them from side to side.

"Are you in _need_ of something?" he winked. I raised an eyebrow.

"The paperwork Mulder. That you were so kind as to get a headstart on," I said with as much sarcasm as I could produce. He smiled at me. "Cmon, hand them over."

"Oh, is that all you wanted? Here I was getting excited," he said dully. I tried to supress a chuckle, which I know he saw, because he looked up for approval and his eyes lit up. He handed the papers to me.

"So you're not even going to question what I was doing for the time that you were gone? And speaking of that Scully, I was a little hurt that I had not received an invite to eat lunch with you," he said.

"...Did you want to come? I wasn't aware you enjoyed being outside," I questioned. Mulder loved the office. It was tight, cramped, offered privacy, and no sunlight whatsoever. His apartment was the same way. As far as I was concerned, Mulder was a hermit.

"Well yeah, I mean, eating without you is a little weird," he said, looking at his hands, lips pursed.

"Eating without me is a little _weird_?" I asked.

"...Yeah. You know. I guess I'm used to your company," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So not doing the paperwork was your form of reltaliation?" I asked. I tried not to convey my feeling of adoration. I got the impression he liked our moments together in this hellhole. It was an odd form of flattery.

"Yes," he said, like a child who was having a tantrum. He took an bite of his burrito. It was running down the side of his face. I thought of telling him, but when I thought of the paperwork I would have to do on my own, I realized that leaving him messy was my punishment for him.

* * *

I did not respond to him. We sat together for about 2 hours, me working on the paperwork, and Mulder rearranging the files next to his desk. Probably just trying to make himself look like he was busy. I finally got up, to stretch. He looked up at me.

"So what are you doing over there anyway?" I asked. He smiled and stretched back in his chair, hands folded.

"There was an old file I was looking for. An occurance, and possibly the only one in U.S. History, that was a catalyst where the government nearly made a public announcement about the exsistance of extraterrestrials." He said in his best know-it-all voice. I rolled my eyes. For a while there, we had drifted from conspiracy. Now he was trying to dip oursleves back in again.

"Continue," I demanded. He gleamed. It was hard taking him serious on a day to day basis, but now especially with food on his face.

"In 1968, over the skies of Las Vegas, a UFO made it's way from the cover of the clouds, crashed near the mountains, and was visible to everyone. News rooms were flooded. People were stunned, but they were too scared to make there way over to it. Finally a group gathered up enough courage to march over and see what it contained, but the governement was already on it. The people were killed, there's no record of them at all, and all that remained was the crash site. It was cleaned up and stored away somewhere, thought we've only a guess. The only evidence that remiains is the impact it made on the mountainside..." he explained.

"So why have I never heard of this before? If it were so popular it would be embedded into pop culture, people would stake out just to get a glimpse of what went on out there, if that's what really occured," I said.

"That's my point. How could something so popular in the past be unheard of in the present future?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Mind control. What if they completely erased the memory of everyone involved? A mass forgetting." he said, eyes wide. I stared back, unmoved.

"Mulder even if that were possible, how would the minds of hundreds, or even more, of people be eradicated. That was 30 years ago, if we don't have the technology to do that now, there's no way it would have been possible then." I explained, but I knew it was futile. He was looking at me, and he was already decided. I sighed. He smiled gently.

"What I'm really getting at is that there's a rogue army general who claims he was present during it all. I was curious if we could get a hold of him."

"How would that be possible?" I hated to know that no matter how much I fought him on it, we were still going to do things his way. There was something in Mulder that exuded power. It was an immiediate turn on.

"You and I have connections...The Gunmen!" He exclaimed. I stared at him. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I was such a sucker and he knew it.

"Mulder it's the weekend..." I whined. His expression faded. He looked off in the distance for a while.

"What if we just go see them once? Tonight, see if we can get some information. We could pursue this on Monday. Have the whole weekend to relax." He said.

My heart lurched at the 'have the whole weekend to relax'. It was the only statement that had not included the term 'we'. But I was happy that he had taken my feelings into consideration. Headstrong as he was, he did have remarkable qualities that made up for it. I smiled weakly, worried that for a moment I may have been selfish.

"Thank you," I said. He grinned. We were grabbing our bags, getting ready to lockup the office. He opened the door for me, and I walked out, him behind me.

"Alright! I'll pick you up tonight. 7ish," he declared.

We got on the elevator, with another agent glaring at Mulder. I hoped she had not heard him say his previous statement. We already had enough suspicion here about our partnership. I then noticed that she was looking at the dribble on his mouth. My face went red. Mulder was looking at her, somewhat agitated, and most assuredly confused. He frowned, and glanced at me as if to say, "What's her problem?". She got off in a hurry.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. I laughed and moved closer to grab his face gently. His eyes got wide, breathing heavy. He leaned in ever so slightly. Did he think I was going to...

I wiped the cornor of his mouth with my finger. He pulled back in confusion, and realizing his mistake, glared at his shoes.

"What would you do without me?" I said, smirk on my face. I was not sure if his embarassement came from what was on the cornor of his mouth or from what was in his heart.

But I couldn't help but notice how eagar he was to lean in.

* * *

Up next...THE GUNMEN! Reviews make me the happiest person in the whole world. I know its alot to ask on a first chapter...but maybe you'll read this as a reminder once I start updating? :)


	2. Chapter 2

_There will be some talk of Daniel Waterston here, so if you haven't seen "all things" there could be spoilers. Worth mention!_

* * *

_**A/N: If you're a creepy obesessed fan like me, you'll know that Gillian Anderson has stated that the relationship between her and Dr. Waterston was not a full fledged affair, and that Scully left him because she feared it would become that very soon. But considering that major plot point was left out of the episode, and that we were left to assume whatever it is we wanted to...I'm going to pretend they did have a relationship. Or better put, a real affair.**_

I fiddled with my keys at the door of my apartment. Here I was, alone as always. Or, I should say, for the time being. Mulder would be here at 7:00, although I could not help but wonder how early he would arrive. It's not like he was busy either.

The key finally went in, and I quickly opened then shut the door behind me. I was not sure how excited I was to help pursue an "army rogue" as Mulder had called him. How would our case report read? My major benefit to Mulder was to make the X-Files seem logical and believeable. A story from an ex-army general would be filled with psychological factors. And did Mulder forget we _worked_ for the government? They would not be interested in the point of view from someone who went against them and their policies. This would not end well.

Then again, when did X-Files ever end up in a positive? We were the laughing stock of our peers. It was debatable on who I felt worse for: Mulder, because it was the work he truly loved, or me, who was assigned to aid him. I had no regrets in the slightest. My time spent with him was worth it. But from the perspective of others, I had to guess that they thought to themselves,"Poor Dana Scully. Fox Mulder drug her life down the crazy tubes just as he did with his own."

Maybe I was just as crazy for loving him. Who knows? But it's not like I can do anything about it. I'm content in our close relationship, for the most part. I am not unhappy where we are. I could most definitly be happier, though.

When I consider my last romantic partner, in comparison to the present one (if I could be so bold as to suggest Mulder in that way), the only who I would want to spend the future with, I see similar aspects.

Daniel was a strong man. He was an intellectual. That was something I found attractive first and foremost. He had a caring nature about him, but he always held control over me as if he knew what was best for me. It was like he thought only he had the solution to any issues of mine that would arise. I did not bicker with him as I do now with Mulder. I suppose Daniel's controlling ways made me into the independant woman that I am today. He did not, however, expect me to abide by what he said. I would never want to paint the picture that he was a masochistic pig. His domination was only to better me as a person. That was his main goal, and it's a trait I've yet to find in Mulder.

But, then again, Daniel was older than me by some years. I suppose his maturity set the bar. That his intentions to better me were so that I could live my life easier than he did at my age. But if I never made my own mistakes, there would never be any way for me to grow as an individual. By wanting to make my decisions and fight my battles for me, he could have taken my identity away. Or, the state it was in then.

Considering the subject matter, it's worth mention that I _did_ know our intimacy was wrong. There is no way to deny that. But it was hot, intense, and passionate. And there was love. If I had not loved him, there was no way I would have risked so much. It doesn't make it right, and I know that more now than I did then, but it was true. He was the first person I burned for. I would shudder at a mere touch. The sexual moments we had in his office...are all things that run through my mind every once in a while.

To dwell on the issue would be ridiculous. It was my choice to leave him, and I have no regrets for that. But there are certain occasions where, when I find myself thinking of him, I have to ponder how different my professional life would have been. Daniel was a factor in my decision to leave the medical field. To think "What if...?" is not a way to live, but if I did not stop to think of it once in a while, I would surely go insane.

And that's when Mulder enters the equation, although we could easily say he has one all his own. He and I have a different relationship obviously, one because he is an entirely different person from Daniel, but then again, so am I. The wishful young lady that loved a married man was not the same woman who met Mulder at the FBI. Some may call it pessimistic, but I call it having a grip on reality.

Mulder is a strong man as well. But in a much different sense of the word. He's strong in his quiet dispostion. Of course he had his over-confident moments, that I assumed he played for either humor or to impress someone, but his true nature is humble. As I said before, he and I bicker. There is a part of Mulder that respects and values my opinion in the highest form. It took me a few years to realize that, and once I did, I knew I was in deep. He would never try to control me. He did stretch his power from time to time, but he always returned back to his original postion. He and I were equals.

When I think it through more throughly, I see the biggest similarity between them both.

They were both far out of my reach.

Easily tamed, perhaps, but both forbidden. My time spent with Daniel may be the biggest reason I refuse to pursue a relationship with Mulder. I had done wrong once, but to do it again would be ignorance on my part. It was against protocal for two agents to be together. I played that phrase over and over while we sat in that cramped office, when we spent nights together in hotel rooms that adjoined, and hell, even the car rides. When did I not think of him?

But there is so much less standing between Mulder and I than there was with Daniel. I know that he and I love each other wholly. He was right for me. The term "soul mate" is ridiculously cheesy and stale, but if I were one to believe in that sort of thing, well, it's Mulder.

For most women, coming to that understanding is a relief. For me, it's a burden.

The reason I play things with such ferocity to remain by the book and straight-edge, is that in all honesty it's the only way I feel that I can be normal. It gives me a sense of control.

So here I sit, waiting for Mulder, after having thoughts as I just did. And he would never know. I cringed when I thought of working at a time like this. I wanted to relax, not play cat and mouse with The Gunmen over how to get in touch with this "rogue". But at least Mulder would be happy.

I heard a knock on my door. When I got up and looked through the hole there he was, in the same outfit as he wore to work, only the jacket was left off the suit and his tie was nonexsistant. He grinned at me, and I supressed a laugh while I opened the door.

"Scully!" He said, like a child.

"Who else were you expecting?" I said, locking the door behind me. That was a legitamet question. But he was happy at my presence. That never ceased to amaze me.

* * *

Get ready for...*trumpets sound* THE GUNMEN!


	3. Chapter 3

_I've been getting more feedback than I had suspected...it may be cheesy to admit that I am absolutely overjoyed when I read them. Oh wow...I'm like a child...OH WELL! Thank you all so very much._

* * *

I glanced at Mulder as we walked up, preparing to knock on their door. He was supressing a grin on his face. I held my own bleak expression.

The Gunmen were not often used to visitors. These men were the closest Mulder had to male friends. In fact, they hold 3 spaces of the 4 human beings that he allows himself to be in personal company with. I had to remind myself that they were always of incredible help when we needed them. But from their outward appearances, it was hard to take them seriously. Well, maybe I shouldn't be as harsh to Byers. Then again, his suits and professional deamenor made him the odd one out in the group. Perhaps he was the real joke?

But I must admit, my heart holds a special place for Frohike. Despite the annoying and unnecessary passes he makes to me on occasion, I find him the most compassionate. He was the only one to arrive at my door when we suspected Mulder dead in the desert fire so long ago. He was slightly drunk, but it was touching nevertheless. If I was allowed to play favorites, it may just be him.

And, well, Langley has the best taste in music. I need not say more.

"You ready?" Mulder asked, now allowing himself to grin fully. I blinked slowly to express my agreement to the statement. He had just raised his hand to complete the motion when we were greeted by 3 faces.

"Welcome to the humble aboad," Frohike said in dry manner, initiating the others to speak as well.

"You guys are here a little later than we planned...have a little _fun_ on the way?" Langley winked in suggestion, and was soon jabbed in the gut by Frohike, whose permanet frown was intensified at the lame attempt of humour. Yes, he was now definitely my favorite. Mulder's eyes widened and he looked at me from the cornor of his eye.

"Hey!" Byers threw in. Did he ever speak first...?

They welcomed us in. I could not help but gather my surroundings everytime we came here. It was quite drab. Technology spreading from every wall, not much light, and the smell of old pizza. I could feel Mulder's eyes on me as The Gunman took their places to give us a presentation of some sort. I glanced up at him next to me. He smiled, soft and apologetic. I smiled weakly back in confusion, searching his face for an answer to his expression before looking away. He gave me a loving nudge.

I then understood he was apologizing for dragging us out here. Typical Mulder, to apologize after delievering me here on a Friday night. As much as I was against this, his emotion made up for it. And his presence in general. And I suppose it did not take much persuading on his part. It never did anymore.

I could not decide wether I was whipped or if I was a sucker.

Neither. I was the worst kind: a whipped sucker.

I stared off for a while after that. Mulder and The Gunmen having fun like adolecents in the background, overjoyed at the company of one another. Mulder eventually began his introduction on the professional aspect of our visit. When I came back to reality in complete, they were dicussing the "rogue" we would be dealing with.

"Teddy Grossman. He's a hell of a guy to access, lemme tell you. Took us a while to track him down, even longer to make contact. We told him the nature of your investigation," said Frohike.

"What was his reponse?" Mulder asked, brow furrowed and somewhat hunched over.

"Yeah. That's the thing..." Frohike responded. He was cut off soon.

"You see, Mr. Grossman is incredibly difficult to converse with-"

"A real asshole," Langley clairified. Mulder and I both nodded in understanding. Byers continued.

"He's angry for some reason, at the whole world and possibly everyone in it. We've considered suggesting another option to do this."

"To do what?" Mulder asked.

"To get the information you need." Said Byers. Mulder and I stared at them, in the midst of confusion.

"There's a catch to get what it is you desire...and we highly doubt that you'll be up for it," Byers continued, and was adressing me at the end of his statement. I was wide eyed.

"Where are you going with this?" I asked.

"Grossman wants a date with ya," said Langley. I was taken aback. I heard Mulder snicker in contempt.

"How is he even aware of my exsistance?" I questioned. Frohike spoke up.

"He demanded information on both of you. Picutres, biographies, we even sent video." I froze there. They were capable of these things against our knowledge... He continued.

"He was charmed by a certain firey haired goddess," He said, smiling for the first time all night. I was prepared to decline. This Teddy Grossman held himself in high esteem for no justified reason.

"Tell him no," Mulder said bitterly, raising his voice. I looked at him.

"...Excuse me?" I asked.

"I said tell him no. You don't want to go on a date with a total prick like this Scully. And to be honest I don't want you in the same room with him. We're not doing it." He said, it was final in his voice.

His statement was true. I had just moments ago felt the same way.

Yet I felt anger rising from within me, like a slap in my face.

I did not understand what it was. I quickly resented the comparing I had done of Daniel and Mulder just a few hours prior. He had made a liar of me. To assert his dominance not only before I had given my answer, but in front of others, was something I had not expected. I began to think with emotion instead of logic. That's when I knew it would become dangerous. And why was it so shocking that I could go on a date?

"I want to do it!" The words came from my mouth before I thought them over.

"Scully we're not doing it. You don't have to be a hero, the case isn't that important anyway," he replied with a shrug.

I had thought that from the moment he told me about this case. There were moments when he only listened to his own ideas. My opinions respected, but never the go to choice.

"We're not doing it? No Mulder, I think we are. _You_ drug me out here tonight. Don't overestimate you're authority. We're _doing_ it," I said glaring at him. He quickly fell from his high horse. I felt no pity, which scared me. He looked at me, wide eyed, lips poked out. The resembalnce he had to a dog at this moment was uncanny. There was tension violently hanging in the air. I turned to Byers.

"Can you set it up?" I questioned. He nodded. Frohike's pout was worse than Mulder's.

I did not speak for the rest of the night. I listened to Mulder's incessant banter on nonimportant topics, and the eagarness of The Gunmen, in their effort to forget the incident.

'We'll be getting in touch with you soon," he reminded me on our way out.

I knew I would regret this, in regaurd to the impending date. It's odd how in the middle of an outburst you begin to disagree with the opponant simply because you need to make a valid point that is much more personal than the situation your adressing.

However, the anger towards Mulder was real. I would not shun genuine emotion.

* * *

_NEXT...an awkward car ride._


	4. Chapter 4

I could feel his cautious gaze on my back as I walked to the car. I pulled on the passenger seat handle, to no avail. He unlocked the doors quickly at my action. I got in, and from the privacy of the dark car looked up to read his expression. He was still outside, obviously in no hurry to enter. His distressed face was complicated for me to assess. I was not sure if it was from embarassment on the outburst or from shame of his own behavior. I saw him take a deep breath and he dipped into the vehicle.

We sat in silence.

I tried to think of the real reason I snapped. I was almost positive I had hit it on the head back there, with The Gunmen. It was his eagerness to overpower me. There was a significant difference in being listened to, and being heard. The moments of tension that we shared over the years were the times when I had the biggest regrets on becoming an agent. My heart softened at that thought...

No, I would never regret _him_. But was it so selfish of me to want what I had dreamed for as my future? Mulder was getting what he wanted. The X-Files are the only joy in his life. What about my hopes and aspirations? They seemed to have vanished long ago.

I quickly shook that. I knew that Mulder was at times aware of my unhappiness as well. I did not want him to feel responsible. These were choices that I had made. If I came to regret them now, as I sometimes do, it is my problem. I was an adult.

So why did I snap like an adolecent back there?

I was still angry at Mulder, and would dicuss this at some point with him, but when I processed everything I stumbled upon something else. The internal conflict raging within me had exploded and shown itself to the world. My disappointment with myself was too much to handle.

As long as I kept busy with paperwork or investigation I find it supressed greatly, but the moments like tonight, when he pulls me out of my lonely environment to work like an absolute dork on issues that I could care less about, I ponder what I could be doing.

It was a Friday night. Normal people would get off and either relax at home with their families or go out with friends.

I then realize, once again, that I _could _and _should_ be doing these things, and I never did. And for some reason that supplies the greatest unhappiness of all.

"Are you alright?" He asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, and broke my concentration. We had pulled into my apartment.

"Hmm?" I ask. I felt the moisture on my eyes. I tried to supress my previous emotions and was not doing a satisfactory job.

"Scully what's wrong with you tonight? And don't say your fine, because your not." He prodded, anger rising within him.

"I don't know." I said after taking a deep breath. That was true for the most part. Was I having some sort of life crisis? I felt so stupid. This was not the time. Not in front of him.

"You're going to have to help me understand. And why were you so angry at me back there? I'm a big boy. I can handle it, but I'd be lying if I told you it didn't bother me." He said, searching my face for some kind of answer, in case I disregaurded the question. I was thankful I knew how to explain this part.

"Mulder you were so quick to ignore my feelings on going there tonight. So we went anyway, and I'm not complaining. But I absolutely did not appriciate you jumping the gun and making my decisions for me. The date was aimed at _me_. Wether I was going to go or not, was _my_ choice. When the investigation was placed in my hands, you rejected the possibility. Were you suggesting that I wasn't capable?" The words flooded from my mouth. He stared at me, eyes wide, and brow furrowed.

"I would never insult your intelligence or your independance. Is that how you felt?" He asked.

"To be honest that is exactly how I felt." I said.

"I apologize, but that's not why I answered for you. Do you really want to go on a date with this joker?" He asked, with more crucial aspects in his voice than the other questions.

"Of course not. But it's not the first time that I've gone through with something I hated." I said with agitatation. His face fell. "Mulder that wasn't aimed at you," I added more gently. The cornors of his mouth turned up slightly, and he was smiling for my benefit. I hoped I had not hurt his feelings.

"Scully, I don't want you to do this," he mumbled, staring at the steering wheel.

"I have to. They've already arranged everything, and apparently we need the information," I said.

"I know that. But I'm not...I'm not comfortable with it," he said while shaking his head. He finally made eye contact again. I raised my eyebrow. He chuckled. "Don't look at me like that. I'm serious."

"What do you mean 'not comfortable with it'?" I questioned. It's not as if this Teddy Grossman were a total charmer, from the way he had been described. Even if he were, it was not Mulder's concern.

"I dunno. If you want to do it then I support you."

"Mulder, I don't _want_ to do it. But I'm going to, plain and simple." I said. He looked up at me and smiled painfully.

"You do all the things you don't want to do. When does Dana Scully get to enjoy herself?" he said, and we were gazing at one another. Did he just call me _Dana_?

"You're the most unselfish person I've ever met," he added.

I did not feel unselfish. I suddenly felt more selfish than ever. I had previously turned my anger toward him. The moments like this, when he praised me, were so humbling that I felt as if we were living for each other. I smiled.

"I don't know about that." I said looking at the clock on his car. It was later than I had thought. "Goodnight, Mulder. And I'm sorry for being so unreasonable earlier." He smiled whole-heartedly.

"Never unreasonable. Goodnight, kid." He said, nudging my arm. I nodded and got out.

I love Fox Mulder.

And have an impending date with another man. What has my life come to?

* * *

_The more I write the more I realize that this story may become way too long. I have too many ideas right now. But Happy 4th of July!_


	5. Chapter 5

_I wanted to announce here that I will eventually throw in Mulders POV (thanks to a wonderful suggestion!). On which chapter? I'm not all sure about that yet. Although I do have an idea as to when his mind is going to make it's appearance, I'm still working out a few things._

* * *

_**A/N: I will openly admit I stole a line from "A Clockwork Orange" in this. I give all credit to Stanley Kubrick and the glorious Malcolm McDowell for that. The line that Scully uses when she lets a visitor inside her apartment before her date. What can I say? I had to use it! It will more than likely go unnoticed if you aren't a fan, but just in case you happened to be aware of that, I went ahead to make note of it.**_

* * *

I jumped into the shower, needing to release my stress and relax in some way. My date with Mr. Grossman was set for tonight. _Tuesday_. I pondered who in there right mind would set a first date on a weeknight, but soon realized again that this was strictly business. Thank God for that. I wanted this to be over as painlessly as possible.

What if I had just said no? I replayed the night with The Gunmen and Mulder many times in my head. If only I had not lost my temper. But, once again, this was my decision wholly.

Perhaps a date was what I needed.

No...no no no.

I had these thoughts and more, with the surrounding steam as my only companion. I let the scalding water envelop me, taking deep breaths. I had chosen to wear my navy dress. It was was flattering on my waist, covered everything to my ankles, but had low neckline, and I had debated long and hard over the issue of my bust. Needless to say I decided on it. It was the only item I owned that I would feel acceptable in. It would have to do.

Mr. Grossman (or should I allow myself to call him Teddy...?) had made reservations at classy French restauraunt. I was a little suprised by this. Perhaps he had some redeemable qualities that I had not been informed of, or good taste at the least. I had to admit that I had been on far worse dates.

I pictured him to be a man in his 40s, somewhat overweight but not disgustingly so. Possible stubble, he seemed like a rough and tough kind of man. He was obviously a jerk. But I had plenty of experience with that. My brother was Bill Scully, after all. As long as he was not socially awkward or rude, we would get along.

I was an FBI agent and a medical doctor, I'd seen detestable images. Things that no one should ever see: the inbred Peacocks, a Flukeman, the severed head of a magician, and even how Mulder squeezes a tube of toothpaste. Why was a date so hard to consider?

I wrapped my towel around me and began to dry off. After I was set I looked at my make-up bag. Decisions decisions...

That was the worst part of a date. The stress and anticipation of preparing yourself for an evening that may or may not be worth it. I wore more make-up than usual. Or, I should say, had the addition of a deep colored eyeshadow and a bright lipstick in comparison to my typical creamy look. I even added more curl to my hair. Volume always looked healthy.

I then stopped. I did not understand why I was trying so hard to win the affections of a man who not only would make no impression whatsoever, but that was not interested in pursuing a real relationship. Once more, it was business. I wasn't even excited. I was too stressed for that.

I moved to the living room and sat down, thinking. I had gotten ready too quickly. The last thing I needed was time to talk myself down about this. I had too much potential to do just that.

And then the I heard a knock on my door.

I got up slowly...I was never fond of the unknown. I tiptoed over and looked through the peephole to see Mulder grinning back at me as usual. I was taken aback. It was random to say the least, but I disregaurded that quickly. I tried to make my expression as dry a possible, one eyebrow raised. I would hate to convey how thrilled I was to not be alone for the time being. I opened the door.

"...Mulder?" I said in monotone. His expression changed the moment he saw me. I tensed immidiately. It was all too much, the make-up, the dress, everything. I gripped the door to get control of myself.

"You look... nice. Very nice," he finally emitted after a deep breath. I half smiled in embarassment and ushered him in.

"Well, what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this visit?" I said, making sure he got comfortable before going to pour ourselves a glass of wine. I needed it. Badly.

"Umm, you know, just checking up on you. You ready for this tonight?" He asked. I looked over at him to see the concern in his eyes. I lied in defense. I wanted to remain cool and collected.

"Date? Oh...! Yeah. It'll be fun," I said and nodded my head with no convincing factors in any way, shape, or form. My voice even got shrilly, something that Mulder would surely pickup on that signified my lie. He looked at me and smiled softly.

"Oh? Well, that's great Scully," he said, lying in response to my lie. It was for my benefit. I thanked him silently in my mind.

I handed him a glass of wine that he looked at for quite some time before taking a sip. My nerves could not have been more obvious. My wine was downed quickly. The silence soon became awkward, so I glanced over at him, but he did not notice. He sat there looking off in the distance.

"I should get going," he said, after taking another sip, and stood up.

"You just got here," I said in shock. He looked down at the floor. What was _he_ so flustered about? He looked up at me again, and smiled nervously.

"I know. Umm, I guess my coming here was a little random..." he said, struggling for words. I stared at him as he walked to the door. He spun around quickly.

"Scully I think you should take your gun," he said with boldness. He looked at me with intense eyes.

"Mulder, I don't think a gun is appropriate for dinner," I replied. His brow furrowed. It was something so ridiculous only he would have suggested it. I did not intend on going into combat with Mr. Grossman. In an attempt to show my calm demeanor on the issue, I left out the fact that I had a large can of unused mace left in my purse. I needed to prove to Mulder that I was perfectly fine.

"I guess not...Just give me a call when you get back in," He said more as a statement than a question. I nodded. He threw me a quick half-smile and left abruptly.

I sat down again, now more concerned for Mulder than I was for myself. I looked at the clock once more and got ready to leave. Upon locking the door behind me I paused, only for a moment, before running back inside to grab my gun.

You never know what might happen, right?

I could no longer go on a date without taking weapons.

It's hard to say what ruined my chance for a normal life. The FBI, or working so closely with Mulder.

* * *

_It was the line **"Well, what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this visit?"** It may have fit, it may not. But I really had to throw it in! I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now on to Scully's date._


	6. Chapter 6

_As a reader of fanfiction I normally hate the addition of a character that would not originally be in the show. I feel like they're much too complicated to personify, etc. While I was writing this portion I was hung up on the fact that I did not know how to portray Teddy Grossman (I cringe at the name I came up with, but oh well.) At some point I gripped on to a John Malkovich phase. So to make the addition of this less than creative character I've come up with so that it is easy to swallow for his remainder in this story, I wished to say that it is loosely based on the way John Malkovich speaks, his tone, and how he would conduct himself (not the way he looks). Hopefully it can give you a better sense on his actions. We're accustomed to the way Mulder and Scully act so they're easy to visualize, the addition of my character would be a far more difficult task. I just wanted to give a heads up. _

_BTW, I'm seriously hung up on Malkovich. I reccommend **Dangerous Liasions** if you have not seen it. He is phenomenal._

* * *

The chill of the night air rushed upon me as I got out of the car. My instructions were to park here and wait until Mr. Grossman "retrieved" me (that was the exact term he used, according to Frohike). I took a deep breath and waited at the edge of the street next to my vehicle. This was a dark and dismal side of town. No where near our supposed destination. I instinctively felt for my mase.

I had left the gun in my car. It was unfortunate that this item did not fit in the small handbag I had brought for the evening. I stood impatient, frown intact and gritting my teeth. If he were not here in 5 minutes not only was I going to leave, but I would most definitely plan on tracking down this son of a bitch and giving him a peice of my mind.

Anger and impatience can work _wonders_ on a typical calm demeanor.

I then heard a man clear his throat somewhere beyond where I was located. I corrected my stance and stood erect. I looked around slowly. All I could assess were the shadows beyond me. And then he began to step forward from the alley.

He was a tall, thin man. A suit and tie helped form his figure, and he looked absoutely out of place in the attire as I made note of his awkward motion. He had a hard face, though I could not make out the features. He stopped just in enough light for me to convey that not only was this my "date", but that the initial meeting was secret. He motioned me forward with his hand.

I walked over in a brisk and no nonsense manner. I intended on getting this over with. As I stepped near he descended back into the shadows. This was beginning to annoy me.

"Hello, Ms. Scully. You look excellent. I am thrilled that you had enough pity and confidence in yourself to meet someone such as myself here tonight," he said from his hiding place. He had a mellow voice. It would have reminded me of Mulder's tone had it not sounded so rough and robotic, and this thought comforted me. I stepped into the shadows to follow, and he stepped back as well. I inhaled deeply.

"If you intended on conducting this in public, why do you continue to hide in _secret_?" I asked, further annoyed. He grabbed my hand from where we were standing and led me through the alley. He did not reply.

"Sir I asked you a question," I said with growing irritation, once more as a reminder. He never faltered with his movements.

"I am aware of that. Relax," he said as if it were a command.

What a pompous ass. Langely was right.

My eyes flashed up at him in reponse, although he did not see it. He spoke in frequent monotone. But the mellow resonance that brought Mulder to my mind preserved the small amount of sanity that I carried with me on this particular evening.

The idea of Mulder keeping _me_ sane? This was a night of firsts.

"Mr. Grossman we agreed to do this on your terms, but I would appriciate if you would stop throwing out orders at me," I spat, daggers being catapulted from my eyes. He snickered.

"You know, the words you've just used suggest politeness, but your tone and body language said something all together different. Who's barking orders now?" He asked. I snatched my hand from his (to his humor) and remained silently fuming as we approached a busy and well lit area ahead.

"To answer your original question, I hide in secret to protect all the secrets that are my own. You and I will be the only individuals dining this evening. Not only did I make reservations, but I reserved the entire restauraunt. I hope that you don't mind." He said. It did not matter to me. At this rate tonight would end more quickly than I had planned, and with my having another outburst similar to the one I had with Mulder.

I eyed his pocket and saw it stuffed with the information that he had promised to bring regaurding the UFO conspiracy that Mulder desired. I reminded myself once more that all of this was for him, even if he had objected. We walked a but more before arriving. It was French cusine. The staff bent over backwards at the sight of Mr. Grossman and myself. We were led immediately to a candle lit table, a water fountain just beyond us.

During the process of sitting down, I glanced to get a good look at my companion this evening, curious in the midst of my anger.

He graying a bit, but it was more of a salt and pepper look. He appeared to be in his mid 50s, but was good for the years. The few creases and wrinkles on his face aged him the most, yet the distinctive jawline provided a younger appearance. He had gray eyes that complimented his hair. They were large and captivating, perhaps the only exceptional quality in his posession.

"The _only_ exceptional quality?" He blantantly asked. I stared at him, dumbfounded and still irritated.

"You considered my eyes and said that they were the only exceptional quality I had. It's worth mention that I can read your mind. I hope you enjoy my honest confession, normally I would have taunted you with it for the remainder of this evening." He said casually.

My eyes widened. I cringed at his false confession. Was I so phsycially obvious that he guessed my thoughts? I had not been told of his skillful awareness.

He smiled and immediately reached into his pocket before giving me the information he had.

"I heard you thinking of this earlier, although that part _was_ particularly obvious considering you kept staring at it. And don't be angry with your nerd buddies. They were not aware of my...gift. But yes, I can read your mind," he said, grinning.

"Are you aware that I am a medical doctor?" I asked. Surely he did not expect me to believe him and his "gift", although I must admit it he had two very correct assumptions.

"What you're really asking is that do you expect someone like me to suggest something so farfetched to a logcial individual such as yourself. Yes I am, and yes I can read your mind. I don't need to proove myself to you, I just issued it as a warning," he said casually once again, before looking down at the menu.

I glared at my menu, bewildered fully. We sat in silence while we decided on what to dine on. My mind was racing.

"The duck is excellent, contrary to what you just considered. I suggest you order it," he said quietly, without looking up from his menu.

"Listen, dammit! I don't know how or what it is that you're doing, but stop it now!" I whispered loudly, leaning into him. He glanced up.

"I can't just turn it off. But I will stop answering your mental queries outloud. It's all I can offer." He said. I stared at him with ferocity. He grinned again. "You're quite the firecracker. I must admit it's a complete turn on. It's why I suggested your company."

I was fuming as the waiter came to take the orders. I ordered steak, much to Mr. Grossmans dismay. I was confused beyond belief, but I refused to believe that someone like this could have the control over another's mental processing. Then again, I did not have a medical answer, or any answer at all for that matter, to verify my personal belief. But that was of no consciquence.

"May I ask you a question?" He said. I glared at him.

"Yes. Go ahead," I said with severity. He smiled with such deviousness.

"What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Mulder?" He said cooly.

I snapped.I placed my napkin on the table and got up.

"Mr. Grossman, this has been the most unfortunate 30 minutes of my life. I thank you for an unforgettable evening." I snatched my purse and he got up quickly before grabbing me by the arm. I gave him the death glare. He let go immiediately.

"No. Please, we've already ordered. I know, I know, I'm a snarky bastard, please stop asking me to fuck myself, it's quite rude. I know it's all in your head and your're not stating it verbally but it still hurts. All I ask is for us to finish dinner." He said, the words rushing out.

I stared back, wide eyed. For some reason, I listened. I sat down once more.

"Thank you, I feel much gratitude. And I did not mean to offend you about Mulder. But I really am curious. You've compared me with him tonight on more than one occasion." He said quietly.

"If you could read my mind you would not have to ask," I spat.

"No, that's the issue. Fox Mulder is the only subject in your head that has no path. It's hectic and it changes continuously. This is why I ask you," he said, completely genuine for the first time all night.

My heart sank to my feet. _The only subject with no path_. He had produced a human response from me. I froze.

"Does this upset you? You've gone quite pale," He asked, eyes wide. I could see that he did not mean to prod, he truly was curious on this one subject.

Ah, what the hell. This man would not have anyone to discuss my issues with, he was hated by all. Why not go ahead and tell him the whole truth about Mulder and I.

...

...What _was_ the truth?

I sank further into my seat. He stared at me with cautious eyes. I was nervous I would say to much and embarass myself. He had caught me when I was low and weak. My chest heaved and opened like a floodgate.

"It's complicated to explain," I began.

"Please, try me. We've got plenty of time," he said, eagarly.

I took a deep breath thinking of where to begin.

How would I relay this part of the date to Mulder on the phone tonight?

* * *

_So...Scully's got a few confessions for Mr. Grossman. _

_Let me go ahead and mention I had not intended to make him read minds until the very line when they sit down. I was going to let them have a relationship for a breif moment. But that was too trite! Wouldn't be X-Files without some weird twist. I may have gotten too excited. If this chapter was stupid, I apologize. I wrote on a whim._


	7. Chapter 7

_I was shocked and flattered to see the feedback I received on that last chapter. I am far too excited on this story! I think about it at random times during the day, just planning it out. The joys of summer really just mean I can focus on FanFic. Maybe I need a life? But this is getting very fun! _

* * *

Mr. Grossman sat there, staring, awaiting response. My mind was racing. I was debating on how much should I tell, the course of my relationship with Mulder was a huge time span to convey to my clueless dinner conpanion. I would simply have to tell the truth and let everything go as it may.

The unknown possibilities produced a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my body. I was also oddly content with the idea that I could share my inner emotion on this subject with someone for the first time.

I discovered however, at that moment, that I did not know how to express myself fully.

I was a woman in her mid-thirties, and I still had not learned how to portray what I felt. I was not sure even, at this point, what it _was_ that I felt. I loved Mulder, this was evident. But where did I see us _going_? I was a strong, Type A personality. The fact that I had not created a few realistic scenarios of where we could be headed in the future showed me what I had always known but chose not to assess in depth : I was running from it all.

Love was a complicated matter. It's shown as the most magical and intense emotion that someone can feel, and I do not deny that. But there are so many other emotions that come with it. Ones that are far more complicated, ones that could break a person. Fear, mistrust, and loneliness, just to name a few. I had experienced more of _these_ feelings, after coming to the realization that I loved him, than the feeling of love itself. All those years ago, I had unconsciously made a choice that was bearing down on me today. The choice to love Fox Mulder.

There was a constant battle within me. I had made the choice to love him, but I had also decided to limit myself in the process. It was a huge contradiction that I have been living. After all these years, I did not see how it could be changed now, if we were ever to take it to the next level.

I did not see how_ I_ could change.

This was something I had never before considered.

_"_Mulder and I have been working together for about 7 years now..." I began slowly, not really aware of how to make the introduction.

"Yes, I am aware of that part. The X-Files," he stated. I was nodding in agreement. His eyes pressed me on.

"I really have no idea where to go from here," I confessed, referring to the way in which he wished me to give him the information he was curious about. I found, however, that it could also refer to the state of my relationship with Mulder.

"I know what you meant originally, although your afterthought is somewhere to begin. Tell me the truth, do you love him?" he asked. I stared back into his eyes before looking at the napkin in my lap. I could feel my face hardening with each moment.

"Yes," I choked out after a long pause. I finally looked back up at him.

"That fact that you fight your desire is your biggest issue, are you aware of that?" He said. I was sitting bewildered once more. He continued.

"I was asking you if you loved him to see if you would deny it or not, which you were debating long and hard over. I can read that you love him, that part blares itself boldly in your mind and your heart. I've never witnessed a stronger vibe. Even if I did not have my 'gift', it would be obvious," he said.

"I love him, I do very much," I said in a soft voice, feeling weak, but wanting to fight this emotion with all the power I had.

"Does he feel the same?" he asked in bold manner.

The doubt that resides in the pit of my soul began to pulsate forward. I _do_ believe strongly that Mulder loves me as well. At this point in our relationship the unspoken hope of what could be was bright. But he and I had never conversed about "us". Once again, I contemplated his dedication and his pursuit of the things he wished for. When Mulder wanted something, he did all he could to get it.

So _why_ were he and I still in the _dark_?

Although it is one of his qualities that drives me to my breaking point, I feel as if his fierce disregaurd for the rules, on occasion, would be a catalyst for he and I to move forward together. Truth be told, I was waiting for Mulder to initiate. If he were the one to initiate, then I would feel wholly that it was what he always wanted. I would be comfortable. But if_ I_ were the one to openly express my feelings first, I would not only be embarassed, but it is my personal belief that if he _did_ feel nothing, he would pretend that he did for my benefit.

I would not take Mulder's pity. That would be far worse than rejection.

"I don't know," I said honestly. It was the truth. Mr. Grossman sighed angrily.

"You do not know _forsure_. But you mentally stated shortly after my question that you strongly believe he loves you. That's enough to act on. But you're terrifyed, aren't you? A woman such as yourself does not allow for much affection. This must be hell for you," he stated, taking a sip of his wine.

"I suppose it can be, yes. But I am not unhappy in our current situation," I said. Mr. Grossman glanced up to argue with me on my previous statement, but luckily the food had arrived. I smiled at the waiter in appriciation. We began to eat. I was pleased with how he did not press the subject.

"I only gave you a moment to collect yourself, but I will continue to press this subject," he said, almost laughing. I raised my brow. "If you spend all your time alone thinking about this man, I'm sorry to tell you, but you are not happy with your current situation. The 'Mulder' portion of your mind is a vortex of ever changing desire and confusion, " he said after a few minutes.

"Explain that part to me, if you don't mind," I asked, after taking a bite. I could not believe I was dicussing all of this with a stranger, but we were far too surrounded in the depths of this issue to simply drop the topic. I could not understand why he felt such strong interest, but we continued regaurdless of this thought.

"You see, your mind is ridiculously organized. You make clean cut decisions, you know always know your next move. And the moment Mulder comes into your mind, your processing is shaken," He said.

"Why is that?" I questioned. If he loved to convince others of his "abilities" surely he could answer this.

"You think you know what it is that you want, but you don't. If Mulder were to walk in right now and profess his love, what would happen?"

"I would savour the moment, I suppose,"I murmured. This was a lie. I had no idea what I would do. I had wished for Mulder for such a vast amount of time that I had ultimately forgotten how to process our future in realistic fashion. I stopped planning when I knew I loved him. I had never truely considered anything else happening.

That is, until this moment.

"Let's say he asked you where you wanted to go from there, after his confession. You would have no answer?" He asked. I nodded, becoming uninterested at this point. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to answer intelligently. We ate in silence.

* * *

"You need to make some decisions," He said after we finished our meal. We were walking out of the restuaraunt.

"Yes," I said.

"To answer a question you had some time ago, I was strongly interested in this topic tonight because at some point, I feel as if I were in a similar situation that you are in now. Not over a relationship, but my career. I had not planned far enough ahead, I waited too long, I became overwhelmed, and now I'm a rogue, living in secret, hidden away from the world. I'm _bitter_. I do not want the same future for you. If you don't resolve the issue that is tearing you apart, it will have some bleak consequences. Stop running," He said.

I looked up at him to see him gazing down at me. I appriciated his caring gesture.

"I wish I could tell you that all of this cleared up my mind, but I feel more overhwhelmed now than I did before. I do have more direction, though, I admit. Thank you, for everything," I said, and pointed to the information he had given me at the start of our evening. My mind flashed to Mulder immediately, but I quickly shook the thought. He smiled.

"I would walk you to your car, but I know that you want to be alone,"he said. I nodded. He shook my hand and we began to walk our seperate ways. I heard him calling my name, shortly after.

"If you don't mind, I would prefer if you did not tell anyone about my confession. Especially The Gunmen, or whatever they're called. They scare me, they know too much, especially the little one. A little mystery never hurt anyone," he said. I nodded, and watched him walk away.

Had he refered to Frohike as the little one?

I walked to my car in a daze. This was a night I would not forget. It had not gone in the direction that I had assumed it would by any means, and I had never been on a date where I talked about another man. But, then again, Mulder was not just another man.

I would be lying if I said I was alright. I was shaken, and all I wanted was to get home as soon as possible so that I could contemplate everything that I needed to on a full scale. But I feel it is necessary to remark that although I _am_ uncomfortable with my own ignorance on the future of Mulder and myself, I now have drive.

A blazing fire was ignited within me.

Things were going to start to change.

* * *

_Oh damn. Scully's got a goal._

_Meanwhile Mulder's sitting home alone...should we check up on him? Let's do it. The introduction of Mulder's POV._

_I'm not all that pleased with this chapter. I don't like the dialogue, it did not fit. But I had to write it like that to get things going in the right direction. If you hated it, please just grasp the main points. Thank you all again for the support!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay everyone! I apologize for the delay, I was on vacation. I think it's been around a week since I've updated? Too long. And school starts in around two weeks, so I will most definitely not be able to finish before then, and updates may take longer. Just a heads up. Anyway, here's the part we really wanted. Mulder has come out to play!_

* * *

_**A/N David Duchovny used the term "human credential" during an interview some years ago to describe Mulder's relationship with Scully. I take no credit for coming up with that part, as you will find below.**_

* * *

**MULDER'S POINT OF VIEW**

The sunflower seeds on the table nearest me where not enough to clear my head. The tense crack of the shell between my teeth, the salty residue left on my lips. It was the only thing I could do to help pass the time. I replayed the events of the past few days. What happened earlier tonight, especially. I had attempted to prevent Scully from going out with that jackass. And it was futile.

The expression on her face was a thickly painted on fabrication. At least, I hope it was. That was so Scully. Trying her hardest to convey to me that she was alright and excited when she wasn't. She poured and then gulped the wine in her hand so quickly that for a moment I got worried she may choke. I sat on her couch like a complete _dunce_. I wanted to tell her what I felt more than ever at that moment. Not only my true feelings for her, but the fact that I was so ridiculously jealous. Hell, I would have begged her to stay in with me for the evening instead of going out. I just did not want her in the presence of this son of a bitch Grossman.

Or any man, for that matter. Let's just be honest here.

I could not imagine her actually _desiring_ to socialize with a stranger. And a stranger who did not follow the rules at that. No, she could not have wanted to go. It just wasn't possible. I mean, she had blatantly told me in the car ride just a few night's ago that she did not want to do it. I did not know why I was doubting her. But tonight she had looked so ready to leave, and so beautiful in that dress. Was she trying to impress him? No no, that would not have been her intention. It was strictly business. _Right?_

I was aware that Scully wanted so much more from her life than she had going on now. And she's been confined to chasing things that go bump in the night with me, Spooky Mulder. I wanted so much _more_ for her, but I was terrifyed that if I let her on to that, she may give up on this ridiculous quest and move on to bigger and better things.

If she ever left me, I don't know what I would do with myself. I feel no shame for that. Everyone knows it, it's not that I've been intentionally keeping a secret. My name should be changed to _Lovesick_ Mulder.

The folks at the FBI pity me, and for that I rejoiced that Scully was an intellectual. Although she was stuck with someone like me, she thankfully still had the respect of our peers. Because we were a team, and because she was as loyal to me as I was to her, it showed the world that I may not be as crazy as I seem. Scully was my only redeemable quality. She was my human credential.

I have no idea how she disregaurds it. Unless she is aware of my feelings, and ignores it in fear of hurting my pride due to her lack of emotion for me. But by now, I could care less about my pride. I did not have any. As I sit here, I am more convinced of telling her how I feel more than ever. I have no option. I could handle rejection, even though it would kill me, but what I could not handle was sitting here alone for one more night, thinking about her and the possibilities. Damn, I just wanted to hear her voice right now. And tonight I let her slide from the loose grip I held over her.

Was the date going well? Horrible?

I hoped for the last option. I don't care that it's terrible to wish for that. Unless of course, the term "horrible" meant that this sick bastard she was dining with had tried to pull the moves on her. I tensed. It would not be suprising. Scully wasn't just a woman. She was _the_ woman.

Any man who had the oppertunity to be graced with her presence knew it. I wish I could count all the dirty looks I've thrown at the men we encounter during our investigations. Especially that idiot bucktooth grinning Sheriff Hartwell. He really thought he was something special. What a country _bumpkin_. I glanced anxiously at the clock, one of many times this evening.

And why wasn't she calling me? It was late, or, later than I was comfortable with her to be out. I don't know what she thinks she's _doing_! Keeping me here alone. I've been worrying all evening. I felt anger rising. Dammit. Dammit all. This was all so pathetic on my part. God, I would really have to hope this guy didn't sweep her off her feet.

So here I sit, awaiting that phone call.

I swear, this is the last time I watch her date some unworthy asshole. I can't stand it any longer. 7 years is far too long to supress true emotion. If she would just call and let me know that nothing happened, and that she felt nothing for him, if I could simply hear the words I needed to hear, I would plan out what I needed to do. I want to be the one to sweep her off her feet. I want her to let me love her with my full ability. There is nothing greater, as far as I can think of.

I need to get that call, and hear the words slip easily from her mouth, so I could set the plan in motion. A plan deemed, _Operation: Bring Dana Scully to Me_.

...or BDSM for short...

...Okay, so maybe I won't give it a name.

But I will have to let her know, soon. And if I'm lucky, she may just say she loves me back. Dear God, please, let her love me back.

* * *

_So Mulder's got a plan too? I think this upcoming phone call will just have to set the wheels in motion. Now it's gonna get fun! But it won't be all that easy. We know Scully is going to resist this more than Mulder will, although she will be a little softer on this issue than she normally would be, considering her last statement during the last chapter...let's dive back into Scully. For now._


	9. Chapter 9

_Scully's got alot to ponder. Let's see what she's got to say on all of this. It may be the largest chapter I've yet to write, but we all know how complete Scully is in her reasoning. She's not going to leave anything out._

* * *

**SCULLY'S POINT OF VIEW (continued)**

It seems humorous to me at how the most random events in our lives leave the largest impact. Just this afternoon, I had been a different person. Different from who I am now at this moment, sipping coffee late at night for no good reason. I have work following early in the morning, though I don't believe I'll sleep tonight. I was debating on wether or not I should call Mulder, but there was a huge possibility that he was sound asleep.

Then again, I also know that the idea of him nustled deep into his slumber is a flimsy but reasonable excuse to _not_ converse with him. I have far too much on my mind concerning him as the subject to strike up a conversation with the source of my confusion. What would the conversation have consisted of? "Mulder, it's me. I just wanted to let you know the date had a different outcome than expected...what's that, I sound stressed out? No no, not at all. I'm just worn out. Talk to you tomorrow." I needed a few hours. In the state I am now, there would be no way for me to talk to him. To babble about nonimportant topics when there were internal conflicts bubbling under the surface of my calm exterior. I may let more slip than I intend, which would be terrible. Thankfully, I knew I would be composed for work in the morning.

There was too much I wanted to say, and there was so much I was undecided on, in terms of how I would go about dealing with all of these emotions and conveying them in a subtle but more obvious way to him. That was the plan. As long as I remain subtle, if he notices the slight change, one of two things could happen. One, is that he could take the oppertunity and run with it. The second, is that if nothing happens at all on his part, I won't feel ashamed. There would be no awkwardness. Our dynamic would not be drastically changed. In order to make this fool proof, I would cling to the last option, just in case. I would hate to assume all of this would work out when in reality so much could happen to get in the way. And by happen, I mean _not_ happen.

I meant what I had promised myself earlier. There was _indeed_ a fire that had been ignited within me. Instead of ignoring what I feel to the best of my ability, as I usually do, I needed to grant myself freedom. There were no longer limits, as far as I was concerned. Naturally, I would not go so out of character as to change the way that I am. And that is where Mulder comes in. From now on, with any occasion that breaks the boundary of friendship and begins to flirt as he so often does, I will not disregaurd him.

I ponder how hard that will be. I am so accustomed to holding back, to shunning my emotions, and portraying the opposite of what I feel to Mulder. When he does something flattering, all too often I respond with dry manner. This is what he is accustomed to as well. I wonder if it will throw him off to see the change in my behavior, and if he will either accept it or become confused by it.

I try my hardest to dig into the recesses of my memory to rememeber the times when I did _not _hold back. There was that moment he and I shared, all those years ago, in the forest. He made the comment of stripping nude and sharing a sleepingbag, to which I responded with allure. For a brief moment, the expression on his face...could I be as bold to suggest that the expression was _hope_? If that is indeed the case (I'm definitely counting on it) then this plan may work well.

I only want to show him more obviously how I feel. That is all. It's up to Mulder to decide where it goes, if we move forward in any way. That is where the fear element comes in. I was putting my complete faith in him. Faith, first and foremost, that he may as well have feelings for me in the way that I feel for him, with willingness on his part to pursue more for us just as I want to. I had unconsciously made that decison long ago, but now it would be evident to me. I had to consider that it might not actually progress to anything.

I will not allow myself to overload and put too much on my plate. I have to draw a line somewhere. I will only hope for _this_ moment, that Mulder recognizes what I am doing and we begin to move forward in some small way. I won't allow myself to grow attached to mere fantasies.

But I can plan ahead for the possibilities, just in case. As long as I don't become _dependant_ on my wishes, it will be fine. After all, I have gone 7 years without a single plan being formed. I deserved a little room to ponder and strech my imagination. I did not want anything going unconsidered. Suprises were not my fancy.

"What if" is where I'm headed now...

Let's begin with the positives. What if it worked out? Mulder and I are fond of unspoken hushed affection. If it did begin to work out (i.e. we flirt openly with each other and make it known that without a doubt we want it to go in this direction) it would not be stated verbatim. But he and I would both be aware of a change. How would we take it to the next level, if I could go as far to suggest becoming a couple? There is a friendship at stake. I would not want to rush into this quickly. We would need to allow ourselves to grow for quite some time, in terms of comfort with the change of being aware of our romantic feelings. So that neither of us is turned on and intrigued solely by the idea of the unknown excitement. If that were the case, and we rushed into a relationship, it could get very boring, very quickly.

I want us both to be comfortable with long-term. I do not see it working out without long-term. Surely he would feel the same. It seems ridiculous to have a wonderful friendship for such a long time, just to date for a few months and end it. It would be impossible to undo everything that we had progressed to. This would have to be discussed at length at some point, if we ever reached it.

I also have to consider the changes that would occur. How would we conduct ourselves at work? We could not let on there. We would run the risk of Skinner having our asses, although Skinner has overlooked quite alot of our rulebreaking and by this point probably assumes that we've been sexual without the benefits for quite some time. There is the possibility that he would not fire us for it, but I did not want to take that chance. So no, we would not let our work collegues in on our romance.

But it's not like either of us have true friends there, so I suppose it's not a secret if there aren't people who really desire to know what _could_ be going on. I'll disregaurd how depressing that is only for the moment.

How would we conduct ourselves with each _other_? Friendship has always been our dynamic. It's what I fell in love with. With the addition of sex (I flush at the possibility, but it must be considered), I wonder how much would change. I did not want Mulder to change his actions with that addition, or myself. It would make the changes far too complicated to deal with. The way I see it, we carry on as we would as friends in public and for most of the private moments we would have as well. Romance would only be in private, so very, _very_ private. Like a switch, as I had referred to Sheila so long ago, although in different context. What if our relationship were like a switch? One for the friendship, one for the romance. It seems far too black and white, most couples dwelled in a grey area, but once again, Mulder and I will never be "normal". Who is to say it _would_ not work. Who is it say it _could_ not work.

Oh, sweet possibilites.

Let's go ahead and tackle the negatives. As I said before, if Mulder and I do not progess in any way to begin with, I don't consider it a negative because there would be no awakwardness. I could pretend as if I never had the thoughts I consider now. It would be a little hard, but it would not be impossible.

The negatives come into play if he and I begin this together and hit a snag. No couple is perfect, we will surely not be the exception. We aren't perfect in the way we are now, adding a title would not improve us in any way. But what if he and I began this, and realized it isn't what we want anymore. It could be after months, it could be after years. But the fact is, it could _happen_. And it more than likely would be Mulder deciding to move on, I am not too proud to consider that. How would we handle it?

I suppose the friendship dynamic could help there. If we broke it off, we would not have to change daily habits. We would come to work, do our jobs, and go home, conducting ourselves to the public as we always have. The only place it would become disturbing for us would be if we became accustomed to romance together, and, yes, the sex. How would be make the transition to being just friends again? If being just friends isn't enough now, it would surely mean less to both of us if we became romantic partners and then took it back. So much would have to be undone.

I do not know how I could handle it.

To know I've failed is not something I am good at. But to know I've failed with Mulder...

It's just too much.

Attempting to have a relationship means taking risks. We are _not_ promised anything. He and I would both go forward being aware of this. We would have to realistically consider that it _may not work_. But it is so much easier said than done. Even though the benefits far exceed the negatives, it's still a touchy subject. And it will only get worse as we progress (if we progress). The secret fear in the back of my mind eating away at me. The fear of loosing him. It would plague me more than it would Mulder. I wish so desperately at times to be as go with the flow and optimistic as he is, but I am far too realistic to allow myself to do that. It can't be helped. I would have to overcome my fears.

But I love Mulder. And I need him, just as I believe he needs me. Despite the challenges that may arise from a nasty break-up, he and I have to be involved in each other's lives. It may take great dedication to overcome the complications, but we have to defeat them. There is no other option, plain and simple. That is the only thing I'm sure of. As far as I'm concerned, it has always been Mulder and I against the world. I do not believe anything could change that. Not even a damaged ego.

I glanced at the clock. 12:41 A.M. distinguished itself in bright red glow through my dark bedroom. I began to nod off to sleep, peaceful for the first time all day.

I was soon awoken at 12:58 A.M.

I scrambled to my feet, as one does when being awoken from a fresh slumber. I fiddled through my room to locate my cell phone, before becoming aware that it was my house phone that was ringing. I paled immediately. Late night phone calls never meant good things. I dreaded to hear the sound of my mother or one of my brother's voices. What if my job had endangered my family once again? My mind flashed to Melissa.

"Hello!" I answered, more frantically than I had intended.

"Scully..." he said, letting out a sigh, "It's me. I, um, know it's late. I hope I didn't wake you up but you never called me, and I got a little worried," said Mulder. I eased at the sound of his voice.

"Mulder, no no, don't worry. I wasn't really asleep. I didn't keep you waiting, did I?" I asked, hoping that he had not wasted a whole night waiting for the call he had requested.

"_Me_? No, not at all... I fell asleep after a while, but I just woke up and I remembered that I hadn't heard from you..." He remarked. I had heard this tone used by him on numerous occasions, such as when I had ventured away for the weekend, only to return to find pencils in the ceiling of our office. And he was completely alert. There was nothing in the sound of his voice to indicate that he had ever fallen asleep. I smiled.

"Oh? Well, I sure hope you slept well," I said, stifling a laugh. I would play along.

"...How was your date?" He said, high-pitched after a long pause. Did I sense false optimism?

"It was alright. Not what I had expected... but not terrible," I said.

_Oh Mulder. You have no idea._

"That's great Scully. That's just really great. Think you'll go out with him again?" He asked boldly. I was shocked at his alertness this late, or rather early, in the morning.

"No, I don't believe I will," I said, not trying to be mysterious but truthfully not wanting to go into detail of what had occurred. It was a alot even for Mulder to believe.

"Did he _pull_ something? I told you that you should have taken your gun!" he declared.

"No Mulder, calm down. He did not_ try_ to _pull_ anything," I said. I tried my hardest to sound stern, when in reality I was trying to hide the fact that I was finding this all too humorous.

"Oh, well never mind," he mumbled.

"Mulder, sleep tight okay?" I cooed. I was exhausted, I needed to rest my mind from it's Mulder-overload.

"I expect to hear every detail in the morning. I want to know _all_ about your night," he said more gently.

"Yes, I will," I agreed.

"Oh, and Scully?" He asked. He was really drawing this out. I won't deny that I found it adorable.

"Yes, Mulder?" I said in response.

"You looked good tonight. Really good."

"Thank you. Now rest your pretty little head," I said as if adressing a child.

"Yes ma'am. Goodnight." He said laughing, his words resonating in my ear.

His voice was the last thing I heard before drifting to sleep once more. And let me just say, it is _absolutely_ the best way to fall asleep.

* * *

WOO! My hands. They ache.


	10. Chapter 10

_I cannot thank all of you enough. At some point your going to pull your hair out because I probably thank to the point of overkill...but the amount of reviews just gets me all giddy and what not. It's just so rewarding...so to all of you who review regularly I give an **EXTRA SPECIAL** thanks. From the bottom of my X-File obsessed heart. You guys are the_ _best. _

_Now let's let some long awaited flirting resume. And maybe intensify? _

* * *

I awoke before my alarm clock went off, to my suprise, considering that I had gone to bed quite late. I did not rush out of bed and into the shower as I usually would. I simply lay there...and I took a moment to intoxicate myself with the beauty of it all.

The gentle glow of the sun overcoming the ever present moon beyond my window gave the room a nice and comforting atmosphere. There was something so magical about awaiting the sunrise. The light slowly but surely floods the room to signify the dawn of a new beginning.

As of recent, I was loving new beginnings. The thrill of change. The excitement of possibility.

It was all so _invigorating_.

* * *

I stood outside of the office, checking once more to be sure that I had brought all of the information given to me from Mr. Grossman. I awaited the secret rush I would get from placing it on Mulder's desk, to show him physical proof of the success of the evening that he had never intended on going through with.

Success for reasons other than accquiring the packet of information, but that would be left out. For now at least. Some day I wished to tell Mulder what really happened on the night I dipped myself back into the (strictly business) dating world. I hoped that some day we would get there. But, as I warned myself last night, I would take each step one day at a time.

I opened the door to see Mulder grinning at me from his desk.

"I wasn't sure I'd ever see you walk through that door again. You know, going on a date with a psychopath and all. I mean hearing your voice on the phone was enough but to see you in the flesh is something all together more special," he said. I shook my head supressing a smile and pulled out the folder with the information he had requested.

"Are you not the least bit concerned about _this_?" I asked, waving it around. He immiediately focused taking the papers from me, and I sat down. He ran his fingers through the pages doing a quick overview, but did nothing to actually read them. I frowned at him as he glanced up at me and shoved the papers aside.

"Yeah yeah, UFO conspiracy. But something _much_ more unusual went on last night with you and Scully I gotta hear all about it," he said, curiosity overflowing his body.

"Mulder...you're choosing to discuss me over conspiracy? You sure know how to make a girl feel special," I said, eyebrow raised.

"I would choose_ you_ over everything. But you have to give me details on your evening, I'm dying here," He said. I found myself more than a little hung up at the first part of his statement. I did not want to overthink everything. But despite this, I was still overjoyed.

"Yes, but only the details I am willing to share," I said , wishing to work up a response from him.

"But you said you'd tell me everything, Scully you promised!" he whined like a child, intensity in his eyes. I chuckled.

"We went out to dinner, and we chatted. Typical first date type things, I suppose. Only he chose to meet me in an alley, and we did not initially hit it off from the beginning, although we luckily overcame that. He was so controlling, it was like he expected me to do what he told me to do. Like I said, we got over that for the most part...but what I have to say next is a little over the top-" I explained. But Mulder cut me off.

"He met you... in an _alley_?" he asked, brow furrowed. I took a deep breath and glared at him. He caught his mistake and snickered.

"That face, Scully you give me that look like if I were anyone else in the world you'd just take my head off. I know you think it's threatening but to be honest it's just adorable. Anyway, please continue where you left off," he suggested.

_Did he call me_ _adorable_? I pretended for the moment that my heart had not stopped beating and resumed.

"As I was saying, the next thing I have to mention is something that I'm not entirely sure of but it's something that he claimed was true. He said that he could read minds," I said casually, awaiting his response.

"Well there are documented cases laying around despite all the phonies. I mean hell, Gibson could do it for sure, you witnessed that first hand. Are you saying you don't think Mr. Grossman could read your mind?"

"I don't know what I think," I said in defeat after a long pause. Mulder perked up.

"He must have been pretty impressive to produce the reaction you just showed me," he replied, smile on his face.

"Mulder I don't believe as easily as you do, but I must admit he was quite impressive," I said. He drew back in mock suprise.

"He _impressed_ you. Scully are you smitten? Because that does not seem very professional at all," he suggested.

"Since when have you and I been professional?" I asked. I could see that he was thinking it over carefully.

"I never have been. Back in the day you were strictly by the book but eventually my influence got to you. Now you're just _slightly_ professional." He said, a clever gleam in his eye.

"I've been corrupted to my core." I said, matter of factly.

"I could drive it deeper," he said with full confidence, nodding his head in response to his statement.

"Would you want to?" I asked. This was playful banter but I was without a doubt alluding to more. Mulder was pleased by this, and shocked at the same time. This moment was golden. Here it was. Do or die time.

"Of course. There's still so much we've yet to do..." He said.

"I think we've done quite alot," I said, which was not a lie. Well, not completely.

"And are you satisfied with that?" He asked boldy. I realized that he and I were leaning into each other. I could smell him from where I was, that deep, musky scent that blares itself even when he isn't around. The scent I cherish.

"I'm hard to please. Are _you_ satisfied?" I asked.

"_I_ could please you," He said, absolutely disregaurding my question.

"I never said that you couldn't," I said, smiling. This was not that bad for a first try. I felt as if he and I were having a magnificent first go at this. For my standards, at least. He leaned into me more, never breaking eye contact, before moving his lips next to my ear.

"Good. I would hate to prove you wrong," he whispered, I could feel the heat from his mouth. I won't deny that I moved my head just enough to brush the side of his face with mine as he slowly pulled away.

There was an expression on Mulder's face that I have never seen before. His eyes were dark, his lips curled into a smile. It was...hungry. There was heat in this moment. Heat that he had not expected (although I'm not quite so sure I expected it either).

We sat like that for a few moments. We gazed in silence, before resuming our work as if nothing had happened.

But he and I knew differently.

We were in this together. Oh yes, yes indeed. An unspoken promise signed, sealed, and waiting to be delivered.

I do not know if we will ever get to where I want us to be, but the fact is, for the first time, there is _pure possibility_.

* * *

YAY.


	11. Chapter 11

_Once again it has been far too long. And yes, we still have quite alot to accomplish for this story, so this will not end anytime soon. Oh the thing's I wish to do!_

* * *

**_A/N: We have jumped forward in time a bit. No worries, Scully is going to recap it all for us. In her typical worrying manner. Nothing will be left out!_**

When I look back at the moment he and I shared in the office so long ago (and that is also the location we are at during this moment, although he is unaware of the things I am considering...) , I see wonderful and terrible consquences.

Time has not truely passed as much as I feel in my heart, but when you desire something with such ferocity, it tends to shake patience. It has only been a little over a month, but he and I have been so changed.

I am terrifyed. I am not too proud to admit that to myself. Never in my life have I trusted someone in this way, I suppose I've never truely loved until now. I do not question his affections anymore. I _know_ I have finally gotten what I have wished for, and he does too. I feel no shame for my confidence on the subject. He has yet to let me down in all the time I have known him. It has yet to be spoken, but I do not believe that is an issue. Words have never held much significance.

For example, I have caught him staring at me on numerous occasions as of late. I simply glance over to see that all of his attention is set on me. I do not question it anymore. At first it had made me quite uncomfortable, I did not grasp what I should do in return for him, but eventually I took notice that the gesture of bringing my eyes to his are enough to produce an expression on his face that I desperately cling to. His eyes are glossed over, a soft smile intact...and my God...he is at peace with himself. And for that one moment, I am at peace too.

I love that our events are all fresh and lucid. It makes for easy recollection when I sit, as I do now, and ponder our progress. I had shocked Mulder at first. Naturally, he would never admit it, but he is accustomed to it by now. The last case we were assigned to had us located in Washington. It was a chilly night, I saw Mulder shiver (to which he will still deny, such a macho man) while we were combing the forest for evidence, and I commented. He laughed it off and ignored me, and we began hiking back to our motel.

Luckily for me, I had trouble getting into my room, so he came to aid me in my quest. When the door finally opened he came in for a moment to make sure I got settled, and I saw him lingering. I nearly doubted myself for a moment. But he looked so childish standing there, his eyes wide, and my fear of rejection washed away.

_"You don't have to leave just now,"_ I suggested. He smiled at me mischeviously.

_"Scully..."_ he cooed. I chuckled.

_"What if I make us hot chocolate?"_ I asked. It seemed completely random, but he had been cold previously, and there he was in front of me. I did not want to leave his presence. I would have used any excuse to make him stay. I also knew that he was aware of this by the fascinated look on his face.

_"I would like that very much,"_ he said softly.

We spent the rest of the evening in my room, drinking the hot chocolate that I had purchased on sale during the previous week for no reason whatsoever. But I'm glad I had bought it. It had come in handy.

Lately, it seems as if events have just been playing out as if they are meant to be.

We have also began spending time together outside of work. I do not know why such simple things create the largest feelings of satisfaction, but I suppose that is the joy of it. I can clearly remember the first day he called me up. It was Saturday afternoon, I was about to eat lunch and thinking of him no doubt, and the phone rang. As if he had read my mind, he asked me if I had wanted to meet him for lunch. So I did.

We had been referred to as a couple on multiple times that day, not only by the waiters assumption to give only _one_ check for the both of our meals to Mulder, but from the comments on the people around us. He never mentioned it, nor I, but I could visually see the satisfaction on his face. I am sure that he could see mine.

It is almost as if we are develping routine.

He invited me over on Friday night. He did not call me on this occasion, instead he had asked me at work. I felt the twinge of excitement in my abdomen, assuming that if he had inquired me while at work that he had intended on me coming over and it was not simply on a whim. Which would mean _he_ was thinking about me while he was _alone_. It seems so juvenile to gain excitement from the thought of that, but to see proof of his affections is something that never ceases to amaze me. I do not need the proof, but I will not deny that I have a list in my mind of his actions, which is being added to each time something occurs where shows me how he feels.

We had drank that night, while at his apartment. He had consumed more alcohol than I had, and I was more than fully sober, yet he insisted that I not drive home. We stayed up late, laughing and bickering as usual. I do not remember falling asleep, but when I woke up I found myself next to him. My heart lurched at the sight of him on the couch, at ease, and a low snore emitted from his body. I was never more in love than at that moment. Even with the slight excess of saliva ever so slightly running out of his mouth, there has never been a more precious man.

I ran water through my mouth from his kitchen sink and searched my purse frantically to find a mint, before climbing back onto his couch to fake my slumber. I could have almost sworn I heard him chuckle, but I refuse to believe that he had awaken, only to pretend that he was asleep again. That would be ridiculous...

I am in so deep. And I feel no remorse. This is the best thing that has yet to happen to me. I cannot help but wish for us to simply make it official, but I will not rush things. After all, we have spent so long doing nothing at all that I could remain where we are here for even longer. I would do anything to keep him near. My Mulder, all mine.

I cannot help but ponder that we will run into diffuculty. It has all been so easy. What if the actual sex was the struggle? We have never been seriously physical with each other as of yet. I refuse to believe that sexual relations will be complicated, especially with someone such as Mulder. But it has been so long for both of us, and we have never been sexually active together. I would need to prepare myself for this.

Or worse yet, what if the sex was great? And we had still not made it official. I would not be demoted to that. Surely he would not want a friend with benefits. I would have to hope that he was more responsible than to accept everything but to accept it without actually making comittment...

No no no, that would not happen.

I find it funny that the real struggle is confusion with my own happiness. I do not know what to do with myself. I am just so damn _happy_. It is almost sickening.

"You're thinking very loudly," he said. I glanced up.

"Was I?" I asked, dazed and not completely aware that he had been there.

"Mmhm," he said casually, nodding his head, but his eyes pressing me to get an insight to what I was thinking. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to smile.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked. His head cocked to the side a bit.

"Not a chance," I chuckled, wishing to initiate a challenge to sidetrack him.

"Were they about me?" he asked. It was obvious that he disregaurded my attempt to sidetrack and there was a wide grin was on his face. I tried to maintain composure, but I assume I failed, because he released a loud but supressed laugh in his own personal acheievement. He had his answer, no doubt.

"That's all I needed to know," he said, ending the conversation, but still maintaining eye contact. I tried to frown but I could feel the smile curling up the sides my lips.

* * *

We resumed working until it was time for us to go home. I said goodbye as I was leaving the office, but as I was waiting for the elevator I heard him call my name.

"Hey Scully," he mumbled. I turned to face him. He was standing close. I became intoxicated as usual.

"Yes?"

"You don't have to be... ashamed... for thinking about me. It's mutual," he said.

"Mutual?" I asked. He chuckled.

"What I'm trying to say is that it's nice to know you think about me too," he said, ever so easily. Mulder was always cool and collected. I looked down for a moment to gain confidence, before realizing I did not need it, and looked back into his eyes.

"Mulder you're all that I think about. And I'm not ashamed of it," I said with gentle affection. The glazed expression entered his eyes with my favorite smile returning.

"You're special Scully, you really are," he said. We were leaning into each other as the elevator beeped. Why were all of our best moments interuppted? My mind flashed to that damn awful forsaken bumblebee. I still smiled however when he slowly grabbed my shoulders, and was left with the parting gift of a kiss to the top of my head.

My knees go weak with a simple, chaste peck nowhere _near_ my lips. Oh Mulder, what you do to me.

* * *

_Damn that elevator!_


	12. Chapter 12

_So...we're going to begin something here. This next event will be a huge catalyst for what is to follow in the quest for MSR progress. I will reveal so much more of my own input on later chapters but I must admit these next few hold a very warm place that is near and dear to my heart. A personal obsession, if you will (I will explain fully at some point). Anyway, up and coming we will do two chapter's (one from Scully's POV and one on Mulder's) about the same situation. From some of the earlier reviews I know that you guys would enjoy that, plus I believe that each one's differing opinion on the same subject matter will help boost our story to new heights...of course I will alert you when I conduct this, but I simply wanted to give you all a head's up._

_Threw in a Mulder POV to get us going here. I wanted to delve into the deeper recesses of his mind. And talk about sex. I mean we have to bluntly consider that at some point. Hope you enjoy. You guy's are the best._

* * *

**MULDER'S POINT OF VIEW**

I stared at the "I Want to Believe" poster in front of me. Over the years, it's funny to consider the changes that had occurred not only in myself, but in the evolution of Scully and I as a unit.

From day one of our meeting, this tacky ass poster I glare at now, symbolized what I needed from Scully. For so long, I had only wanted her to believe in the cases we strived over, to grasp a greater understanding of the paranormal and the unexplainable things that I had pursued with dilligence. Due to my immiediate respect for her (after all, she was very intelligent. She could be quite intimidating for a man to handle. Hell, she still was) I wanted her to believe in what I believed to gain a greater respect from _her_. To be blunt, I did not want Scully to think I was as crazy as everyone said I was. I wanted to prove to her that I was a rational agent who deserved respect despite my work and personal beliefs.

I don't think I ever succeeded in proving that to her.

But time does weird things to people. At some point, and I don't know when that was, the poster began to symbolize something all together different from what I had intended. The poster became a personal and secret desire I held under wraps for far too long. "I Want to Believe" had become aimed at Scully and her alone. I wanted to believe that I could attain her. To believe that she might find a decent quality left in me, and decide I was worth pursuing.

"I Want to Believe".

The statement does not delcare something as a fact, it merely suggest to maintain a hope for something.

Since the day I became aware that I loved her, I have always had hope. Scully was the light in my life. My crusade for my profession had developed into a quest to make her mine. I'm not ashamed of that. I would never feel shame for anything that involved Scully. The thought of her produces a thick and heavy feeling of pride in my gut. Because if I could have a relationship with someone such as her, the personal demons of mine were at bay.

I had conquered myself through loving her.

I was filled with such happiness when I realized that. Which is why I have always been the more open of the two of us. To me, there had never been a struggle to realize my emotion. I suppose though, for Scully, it was a huge struggle. Someone so logical and stubborn, I don't know how long it took her to finally come to terms not only that she cared for me, but that I loved her despite the fact that she tried her hardest to ignore it for so long.

But it seemed as if things were changing.

If you had told me a year ago that I would stand at the crossroads I face in the present, I would have thought it was impossible. Even I, Spooky Mulder, did not believe. I did not believe that I could be so fortunate to put my plans into action, fortunate enough to woo (or attempt to, at least) the woman I love most genuinely. But here we are.

The honest debate I had turning in my mind was making the decision to either walk or run.

I know that I have her, just as she knows she has me. But how will I take it to the next step?

There's a part of me that wants to run headfirst, to make things official, to finally talk things out that we have kept under wraps for such a vast amount of time. But I have known Scully far too long. She has become my conscience over the years, and with her voice in my head I realize that I cannot move too quickly. Although I would not mind in the slightest, I know that making starting thngs so soon would make her uneasy.

All I care about is keeping her at ease with all of these changes. It has taken so long to nonverbally convince her that it's alright to pursue a romance together. For her to continuously show me the more flirty side of her personality proves two things to me.

One, that she is just a desperate as I am for things to work out. Two, is that she is terrifyed.

Scully would not change her actions at the drop of a hat. Not only is she trying to prove to me that she wants this, but she is making herself vulnerable in every way. I have to respect that.

I know how her mind conducts itself. She has accepted the fact of an impending romance, but she needs proof in every aspect to be comfortable. Mentally and emotionally, we are there.

...So what about the physical aspect?

Scully makes my hormones rage like a horny teenager. I know I get her hot and bothered as well.

But attraction is easier than actually becoming physical. Attraction forms in the mind, it is clandestine and hidden away majority of the time. To become physical, the safety net of attraction is melted away. To become physical, two people had to put there nerves aside and try to please the one another in an obvious way. We would have to falter here and there before we would find what it is we enjoyed from each other. But it would have complications. We have impossible standards set for ourselves by years of pent up, sexually frustrated emotions geared at one another. Truth is, it may take a while to produce the fantasies we've always wanted.

Scully is a perfectionist. She would stress over everything to try and please me (although I don't think she would have to work too hard). And hell, I can't remember the last time I had sex. The times have changed. What is it that women like nowadays? I fear I've become too accustomed to my own hand.

We would have to swallow our pride. It is as simple as that.

I have never been more ready to pursue this. Scully, however, may struggle with it. I would need to make her comfortable, to ease my way into her (no pun intended but I guess that's exactly what it will lead to).

I would have to do this old school.

I had a loose plan and idea of what I intended to do... the only issue was _where_ I would do this. _Where_ would I release the charm on my unsuspecting Scully?

Location, location, location.

All I needed was a place and a way to carry out what I wanted to do.

...And maybe do a little research on how to sexually please a women. At one point I was pretty good. In fact, I know I was. I think?

Damn this is stressful.

* * *

_Scully and Mulder have some of the same ideas on complications. So what's Mulder gonna do?! Fun coming up in Scully's POV next. A lot of it._


	13. Chapter 13

_Warning: This is a LONG chapter. We're putting all our our plans into action here. Things may get a little steamy toward the end, to be safe I think they stay to a T rating (a strong one) but if you're cringworthy at some things I'm just giving a heads up. In my opinion, high-schoolers are capable of what's going to go on between our characters. Well, in fact, I know they're capable of much more. It's not up to __**Fifty Shades of Grey**__ standards (ugh...that book) but I just want to warn._

* * *

**SCULLY'S POINT OF VIEW (continued)**

Moments after arriving home, by phone began to go off. As usual, I anticipated Mulder's voice.

"Hello?" I answered, hoping to give the impression by the tone I used that I had been actively doing something prior to this conversation.

"Hey Scully, it's me. I know this is short notice and all, but are you busy tonight?" He asked, getting directly to the point.

"Let me see..." I pretended to check my busy schedule, when in reality I was flipping yesterday's mail through my fingers. "No, no I don't think I am. What did you have in mind?"

"_That_ is highly classified," he said, matter of factly. My curiosity sky-rocketed.

"Why do I have the feeling this is going to lead to something out of character for us?" I questioned. I heard him stifle a laugh. I truly hated surprises, although I was also trying to disguise my satisfaction on spending more personal time with him.

"We'll have fun," he declared.

"...Sure." I said. I cannot deny that I was somewhat worried. Was Mulder capable of making plans at all? I did not know what to expect. I decided it was best to keep my standards as low as possible in the event that this was not as phenomenal as I was being led to believe.

"Good. I'll pick you up at 6," he said.

"Alright. I'll count the hours before I am _graced_ with your presence," I said, sarcasm flooding from my mouth.

"...Oh...Scully... what are you wearing?" he asked.

"Mulder how many times have we had this conversation?" I said. I heard him laugh once more.

"No, this time I'm serious. Really, what are you wearing?" He asked again.

"Jeans and a white v-neck..." I said.

"Change into a black shirt," he demanded. I rolled my eyes. In the background I heard a knock on his door.

"Mulder when did I start taking orders from you?" I questioned. There was a long pause.

"...So does that mean you'll change your shirt?" he said high-pitched, humor in his voice, and ignoring my question all together. I sighed.

"Yes, I will change my shirt. Ass."

"Alright, love you _too_ Scully," he said laughing, before hanging up the phone.

This would be a long night.

* * *

I sat on my couch awaiting Mulder's arrival. I attempted (and failed) to produce a solution in my mind for the issue that plagued me: I was absolutely being kept in the dark on the nature of the events he had planned for us tonight. I was curious as to what he had intended on the terms "events" and "planned". I have faith in Mulder, I do not doubt that.

But I am also not sure of his planning skills.

Of the both of us, I am aware in a faint way that I am the one with more social skills. Although they do not exceed his by much, I have attempted in the past to pursue relationships. To my knowledge, my attempts have always worked when I wanted them to. He has charisma indeed, but I am almost positive he and I have differing opinions on how to spend an evening with another person.

Then again, that has paid off once before. The night he had invited me to play baseball he and I had enjoyed a splendid evening together. It had contained more romantic undertones than I had considered upon arriving at the baseball field.

I will also admit that on that night I had assumed we would be doing something different. Perhaps something similar to the night we had spent with the Great Mutato and Cher. Dancing, low lights, and a certain flirty exchange of looks between the both of us.

Yet baseball with Mulder had some of those traits, just in different ways. I suppose he always has the power to surprise me when I least expect it.

I hoped that on this occasion, there would be a similar outcome.

And upon that thought, I jumped to hear furious knocking at my door. I got up quickly, only to discover something I had not considered in my wildest imaginings.

Three pale faces dressed in all black stared back at me through the door-hole, and none of them were Mulder.

* * *

I opened the door in complete confusion. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off immediately.

"There are some things we need to discuss with you," Frohike spat. His expression looked determined and hard. Or, I should say, harder than usual.

"...Mulder is on his way-" I began slowly, but was cut off once more.

"We know _everything_," said Langley. I struggled to discover what he was insinuating.

"_Everything_..." whispered Byers, for emphasis on the previous statement.

"Would someone mind explaining to me? I think I'm a little lost here," I said with growing agitation.

"In good time. But for right now you're coming with us," said Frohike.

I don't know how he did it but Byers had snuck behind me and closed the door. Frohike and Langely were now glaring at me, and motioned for me to begin walking forward. Normally I would have resisted. However, on this particular night I was not sure of each of The Gunmen's stability. Upon arrival outside, I found a van parked in front of us. Frohike made a mad-dash to the drivers seat while looking around the perimeter in absolute paranoia. Langley walked ahead of me and opened the door. I assumed the matching black suits indicated their plan of my kidnapping.

"Get in," Langley commanded. I shot him the death glare, and after tensing, he relaxed his expression and stopped his ruthless dramatics. I climbed into the van with Byers behind me.

"What in the hell is going on?" I demanded, my voice louder with each word. Now it was my turn to express anger. Frohike began driving as he answered.

"What are you and Mulder doing?" he asked. Byers and Langely looked at me with wide eyes.

"I don't know, he didn't tell-"

"No, no, no. Not tonight. I mean what are you two doing in _general_?" said Frohike. I was taken off guard. I was silent for a moment.

"I don't believe I follow your question," I replied.

"You and Mulder screwing yet or what?" Langley asked boldly. I saw Frohike cringe at the word.

"...Excuse me?" I replied.

"Are you and Mulder beginning to take things to the next level?" asked Byers more appropriately.

"Why do you _ask_?" I questioned.

"From what Mulder's been telling us-" Byers began, but was interrupted by Frohike and Langley hushing him.

It then occurred to me what had happened. Mulder had been telling The Gunmen everything. It was sick and adolescent of him to seek the opinions of other individuals to help him. I felt my cheeks becoming warm. But I also realized that he had been talking to them about he and I in detail. Therefore, he was thinking of our future just as hard as I had been.

"Mulder told you_ what _exactly?" I asked. I was curious myself as to what he had told them. Perhaps now I could gain more insight into his mind. There was a long silence. I saw Byers and Langley throw a glance at each other. Almost as if he had eyes in the back of his head, Frohike spoke up.

"Go ahead and tell her," he murmured. My ears perked.

"Mulder has been talking to us about your relationship for quite some time now," Byers began.

"Quite some time?" I asked.

"Few years," Langley replied. That was something I had not expected.

"He would never blatantly say what he felt, he would just allude to certain things, although we always knew what he meant without it being said. After all, it's never been a secret. But after your evening with Grossman, it seemed like the dynamic had changed between you and Mulder..." continued Byers. I nodded slowly. There was a part of me that was debating whether or not to confess, but at this point I was aware that it did not matter. Everyone knew the truth regardless of what I may or may not deny. All three of the Gunmen let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God. We weren't sure if he was imagining things or if it was fact," Frohike admitted.

"We wanted to be sure, if he was assuming what was going on between the two of you, that you were aware of it as well," Byers said, a smile forming on his mouth.

"So...this was all to be sure that I was on the same page?" I questioned. I hardly felt that being kidnapped was the best way to have gone about this, but I suppose it might make an entertaining story some day.

"Well, we didn't want you crushing the poor bastard," said Langley.

"You're all that he has. We were worried that if he got too excited about this, and he was wrong, that he would never recover," said Byers. I suppose that made perfect sense. In an odd way, it was almost acceptable. They were more loyal to him than I had suspected.

"So, you're sure you're okay with all of this? We don't think he's going to waste any more time in taking things further," said Frohike. I nodded.

"I've considered just about everything that there is to be considered," I replied. A comfortable silence fell over us as the mystery of Mulder and I had been brought to the attention of all.

"Scully loves Mulder..." taunted Langley in a sing-song way.

"We always hoped you were holding out for him," whispered Byers, winking. I felt my face redden once more. This felt all too high school for me. When the guy you liked would tell his friends everything about what was going on, and being bombarded by them all when he wasn't around.

It felt so...normal. Almost. That is, disregarding the fact that everyone involved was an adult. But that was of no consequence. I still felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Don't fight it sister. You're allowed be happy," said Langley. I smiled with my full ability after his statement. And then I realized that I did not know why we were still driving. Or why we were in the first place.

"...Where are we _going_?" I asked, annoyed again.

"Oh, about that. See, when Mulder called you, we had showed up at his door. We insisted on picking you up instead of him so that we could have our talk with you...although he doesn't know the real reason. So if you could keep the previous conversation to yourself it would be appreciated," said Byers.

"So Mulder is aware that I'm with you guys?" I asked.

"Yeah, he knows," said Frohike. I made a mental note to kick Mulder's ass for unknowingly putting me in this position.

"...So _where are we going_?" I asked once more.

"To participate in a fun group activity, and so Mulder can get a little closer to you," said Byers excitedly.

"We're playing laser tag," said Langley with little or no enthusiasm, thankfully answering my question. Well, that explained the all black outfits.

"It was a secret!" shrieked Byers, as if all were ruined. Langley rolled his eyes.

Laser tag. Mulder had planned _laser tag_. If we weren't high school already, we sure as hell were now. And it wasn't in a good way anymore.

* * *

We all got out of the van to see Mulder leaning against his car. He too, was dressed in black. I tried to grasp our surroundings. There was a bleak and decaying run-down building, though large. I hoped it would keep intact some small reason to remain upright. I would hate to have it collapse on top of all of us. Our bodies would never be recovered, we were all in black and seemingly invisible. Mulder began to walk toward us.

"Have a nice ride?" asked Mulder smiling with doubt, leaning in so that The Gunmen couldn't hear us.

"I should kill you," I replied, smile still intact on my face to hide my anger. I would hate to signify to them that I had not enjoyed their company. But let's be honest, I had not intended to be with them included tonight. Or in this location at all. But I was here anyway, I would just have to make the best of it.

"Atta girl Scully," chuckled Mulder. The Gunmen then acknowledged him.

"Langley let the cat out of the bag," said Frohike.

"Huh?" asked Mulder.

"He told her the_ secret_!" yelled Byers. Poor guy, it pained me to see the extent of his disappointment. Mulder seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Aww. That's alright. Anyway, we should get going," said Mulder. We began walking into the building.

"I don't think Scully's too happy about this," mentioned Langley. I shot him a quick look of approval for him being the only one who understood my general distaste for the plans of this evening. I looked up to see Mulder's eyes get wide.

"I thought you loved laser tag. Last time we played you had such a good time," he said, like a child seeking to provide me with happiness. My heart melted.

"I do, I do," I replied, lying through my teeth. " But Mulder, the last time we did something like this we were almost killed. And we got trapped in the game..." These were mere negatives I mentioned to try to convey that this was incredibly juvenile and something that I would never do by my own choice.

"Well yeah, if you look at it that way," he said, shrugging it off. On any other night I would have been annoyed, but I saw an honest attempt in Mulder to provide me with a good time. That meant the world.

* * *

For the gameplay, we had split into teams. Mulder and I, versus The Gunmen (which seemed almost ironic considering we were playing laser tag). For the most part, he and I were pretty good at defending ourselves against the other three (and it was much more entertaining than I had imagined). The real issue was Frohike. He was small, and quicker than we had ever imagined. Quite ruthless, to be honest. He had a habit of removing himself from the other three to pursue Mulder and I with fury.

This was one of those times.

"Shit, I don't see him," Mulder spat in a whisper. I had a ridiculous amount of adrenaline rushing through my body. I knew deep down it was stupid to take a game so seriously, but it was an honest good time. I saw a staircase hidden behind a small wall that we had ultimately missed during the rest of the gameplay. It seemed to lead to a cramped space above the rest of the game floor. If we could position ourselves up there, it would allow us to win without a doubt.

"Mulder..." I whispered loudly. He looked down at me in the dark light, and I motioned to my discovery. He nodded furiously. We took off quick, Mulder leading the way. Him being much larger than I, he was able to reach our destination faster than I could. I stood at the base of the staircase as he reached the top.

At that moment I could have sworn I saw Frohike in the distance. I crouched down on impulse. I glanced at Mulder at the top of the staircase to see him staring off as well, watching Frohike like a hawk. He moved out of my vision, and I remained in my position until I saw Mulder motion for me to join him. I took off running.

Halfway up the stairs, I tripped, falling to my knees hard. There was a loud bumping sound that I had produced from the impact. I struggled to get up, becoming more nervous with each second. There was a possibility that I had not only drawn attention to myself, but our hiding spot as well. I did not know if Frohike was on my heels at this point. I became aware of a strong resistance. The gun attached to my vest had gotten caught on the railing. Mulder noticed as well.

"Take it off!" he whispered.

I struggled for a moment, before flinging the vest off and launching myself up the stairs to join Mulder sitting down. I was breathing heavily, as if I had reached a climax from some unseen force.

"Jesus..." I whispered, throwing my head back. My body had barely fit into the tight spot, I was essentially sitting on him, my legs on his, but across from him. If I were to scoot closer, I could wrap my legs around his waist. When I eventually looked across at Mulder to make sure he was comfortable, however, he was not making eye contact.

I could not decipher the expression on his face. His eyes wide, lips pursed. I could see the shape of his jawline with distinct quality despite the darkness. He was breathing heavily as well, but not for the same reason that I had. He was...hungry. And he was glaring at my chest.

I looked down. At some point while I was sturggling with my vest, my shirt had fallen down. My v-neck was exposing nearly everything, and was pushing my breasts up to significant levels. I had a brief moment of panic.

Do I cover up? This seemed tacky and untasteful. But I was enjoying the expression on his face far too much to do that. I relaxed, feeling the fire in my eyes.

"Mulder..." I taunted darkly. I saw him tense, making eye contact immediately.

"Scully I..." he began. But he realized I was not scolding him for his actions. He cocked his head to the side and smiled with naughty excitement.

"Scully..." he repeated, but it was different this time. I scooted closer into him. He took a deep breath, before doing something I had not expected.

He reached out to graze my chest with his hands. I kept calm, but was exploding on the inside. I could see that he was as well. He was biting his lip with each movement of his hands. I have never seen him so focused. My mind was racing. He gently moved his hand into the inside of one of bra pads, cupping the bare breast with his hand, before taking it out, and pulling up my shirt altogether for me, in the way that it had been before the vest had come off. I found this as a sign of intense respect. He stared into my eyes, silently thanking me.

I glanced down between the small amount of space that remained between him and I and found a raging erection pressing against his pants. I traced the outline slowly, in awe and wonder. All these years... I had just become accustomed to the idea of him sharing feelings for me. That was great...

But seeing a pure, animal response was the icing on the cake. There was no way to fake that. It was all so genuine.

I stopped and placed my hands at my side, feeling as if I had done enough. He and I made eye contact once more, just gazing at one another. He was staring down at me with gentle fascination, before brushing my hair behind my ear. We had just hit a milestone, we had become physical in a way unlike before, exploring each other's body in a new and exciting way, and yet the most gratifying moment was this.

This loving, tactful, brush. For some reason, it meant the most to me.

And then he leaned in, holding my chin, and tilted my face up.

The action that we had done in chaste fashion on occasion was about to be explored in depth.

I leaned in as well, to finally taste Fox Mulder's lips in all their glory.

* * *

_NEXT CHAPTERS: one is Scully's version of the kiss, the next will be Mulder's version (both short, thank God). Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. Hope you enjoyed, and I hope you don't think I went too far. I wanted it to be an honest moment between them, I tried to be tasteful despite the edgy themes. They didn't perform anything on each other, it was simple touching. But it had to happen! I had you all waiting long enough. _


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